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Damien Rice - 9 Crimes

http://www.zshare.net/audio/damien-rice-9-crimes-mp3-n28.html

*Bharat!

1-0

Sometimes I crack myself up, thats when I know I am but a sad lil thing.

Just now I was thinking of posting and was seriously considering the following to be my post:

"Oh i'm on a break"

---end post----

Oui je sais NOT funny but I smiled so 1-0.

I am who I am

I was never one who panics nor do I think I ever will be.

I hate spoons and manage to live a happy life without them.

I think 'love' is over rated and doubt I'm missing out on anything.

Self pity is the worse thing one can experience, in fact I think its excessively selfish to do so.

I can not tolerate people with bad body odor yet I like the smell of fresh sweat. Yes there is a difference.

I used to eat one meal a day and now I have four yet my weight is as stable as can be.

After reading a serious book, serious meaning anythin worthwhile I need a buffer book and my current buffer is 'when will jesus bring the pork chops.' After reading it halfway I felt like I was sinning so closed it and started the Kite Runner.

Its been two years since I cried and on page 100 of the Kite Runner I felt a tear roll down my cheeks. I started laughing. The moment was far gone.

I'm almost fluent in a language that less than 600,000 people speak. Useless? Je sais but its somethin I'm quite proud of.

I still don't have running water in the toilet and so far so good. Showering with 4 buckets of water seems to do the job quite adequately.

Ramadan is coming up and this year I'm dreading it. Breaking fast at 8:30 is not exactly a cup of tea. Mother dearest thinks coming back home for 2 weeks will do me good, I think I'm goin to do just that.

I've always wanted to take a year off and travel all over but what puts me off is the aspect of baggage. Yes I am far too materialistic to go back packing through Europe or what not. Not planning on going shopping in malls, but what happens when buying ethnic knickknacks here and there escalades. Ship the goods back home? How excessive! Drag them along to destination B? How embarrassing.

I always was fascinated by bloggers. I wonder what would be the one question those fellow bloggers would ask me if they knew I would answer openly and truthfully.

Curiosity is but human nature. Its also what killed the cat. Thank God we're Homo sapiens.

When one day dreams its always done from a director's view and sees the whole picture rarely do they zoom in. I say this confidently as though I have done some study on this, but sorry to disappoing but this confidence is also mixed with a lil BS.

I don't know how to play 'Gafsha' or 'Bullshit'. Kout is my game. Not poker, not gin but KOUT.

A wise friend once said when we meet genuinely nice people we're shocked and all jitty. What we forget is people should be nice, they don't deserve credit for acquiring the bare minimum. Granted she didn't phrase it just like that but same same.

I find buying somethin I really want and giving it to someone I care for satisfies me. I'm currently craving for a mac mini, that mac mini would look nicely in my father's living room.

Both Haifa Wahbe and Nawal Al Zoughbi are in wikipedia.

"Good Morning Vietnam!"

*Hasta Luego!

Party Shuffle - Take 2 !

6al3a min bait abooha ray7a bait iljeeran ! Faaat ma salam 3alaya yimkin il7iloo za3lan !
- Although I am single woman with two parents the house number in Kuwait is saved as "Bait Uboy" on my phone.

A7ibik 7ub Jinoony wathumak fy 3yoony, washoofak noor 3ainy wantathrak tijeeny ! Allaah hala hala 7abeeby hala hala

- At this point Jinoony would be Aramex.

Je suis désolé, Lo siento , Ik ben droevig, Sono spiacente, Perdóname
- 'Ana Jidan Mutas'ifa' Miss. Madonna but you forgot Araabic !

**La tiwin oo La tishaka, il 3ishg ma minah Fakah! **

She's Miss Jan6a Khathra, the hottest thing in west LA, house down by the water sails her yacht across the bay.. blaah blaah blaaah.

Kay Takoony Fy 3yoony oo min 7aneeny oo bs feeeny oo moo bidoony

m o t h ' h e l l a

Kay Takoony FY 3yoony oo min 7aneeny oo bs feeeny oo moo bidoony

m o t h ' h e l l a

You can buy your hair if it won't grow, you can fix your nose if he says so, you can buy all the makeup the MAC can make.

- If who says so? The Baba ? Thaniyan, da3ayat mac?

Oh come and dance with me my baby, lets dance till we go crazy. The night is young and so are We - Oh lets make love and dance the night away!

- Moo sij 3ad!

Rid El Ziyara, Ma 3idt aagwa firagik akthar min isboo3, akthar min isboo3.

- Dig il zigaaraa.

Wil zaman ma ti'3ayar BS ahl ilzaman waylaaah mit'3ayreeen.

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours, damn right it's better than yours!

- I can teach you, but I have to charge

Look around your world pretty baby, is it everything you hoped it'd be?
The wrong guy, the wrong situation, the right time to roll to me

- Waina hal me?

I remember when I remember, I remember when I lost my mind

- That was now.

Khathk ilziman oo Raaaaaaa7 wily bugaaly 6aaaif leh zariny artaaa7 kina Sa7aabaat 9aaif

- Ayaaah 3ala il9aaif ily lal7en mashifna.

Ahhh Push it! Ahh Push it! Ooow baby baby , baby baby.

Oh think twice! Cuz its another day for you and me in paradise.

- Think about wesho?

I love my bitch! I love my nigga! I love my bitch! I love you nigga!

- Wullah khosh, they go out for dinner hathy itnady nigga wil7abeeb yinadeeha my bitch. Kafo!

Push me and then just touch me till I can get my :

Satisfaction .. Satisfaction.. Satisfaction.. Satisfaction..

* Garra stop. Neighbour threatened to call the police for 'disturbing the peace'. But before that ba7u6la ilga9ar 3ashan yi3arf shlon he complains thany mara:

Ma3a ilnas wela chiny ma3a ilnas - Ana Mayitin wil nas 7ayaah !!

*Uncanny!

Ena El Insan Bila 7uznun - Thikra Insan

* I've taken up Spanish for reasons beyond me. Blame Larry Keim!

* Last night slept on the beach: sticky , sweaty and all tha jazz. Came home this afternoon in desperate need of a shower. Went to the bathroom, stripped, got in the tub and wadyoo know:

NO WATER!

Got a towel, wrapped it round myself and stayed like that for 2 hours planning my next move.

Check in a hotel ?

Go over to friend's place?

Shower - Africa style ?

Just when I was about to call the taxi and head to a hotel, I really didn't want to contaminate my clean underwear and freshly washed clothes. Hell I wasn't about to go to a hotel talk to the receptionist without having brushed my teeth. Walked over to the kitchen sink to see if I'm lucky and wadyoo know there's water! Head back to the toilet and - Nada!

Hmm so what do we have here ?

4 buckets, on the floor and 4 pots on the stove boiling water = Manual Shower.

I think this is as clean as I've even been.

Not true, but pretty darn close.

* The other day I was thinkin wow this is the first apartment I keep for more than a year but - subconciously I was workin against myself, later that afternoon went furniture shopping. After buyin the extra sofa, bookshelf and desk I realized I need wanted a bigger place. Not just that - I wanted 2 living rooms.

* My biggest fear (exaggeration? I think so!) is that once I'm done here I wont want to go back. Granted I can extend my stay for another 5 years, not like I'm leavin tomorrow but what happens if I don't want to go back? Guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

* New year's resolution - yes for all those who don't know me I start my new year every September not January. And not really resolutions, just 'to see' list:

- Barcelona, Granada, Valencia.

- Dublin

- Iceland

* When I was back home there was this gathering my friend hand and although I'm not a formal mofo I actually went and met all these new people. One of them said the strangest thing to me " 7adich tha3fana "
So I'm there like excuse me ? Have you seen me before ? She was like 'no bs yibayin inich tha3fana' .

Dude you can't say that! Why couldn't she see that ! Its like me meeting a guy for the first time and sayin "Umbaih Mi7law!"

Number 1 : I'm not one to say 'umbaih"

Number 2: Mi7law, tha3fana, mijkara, samnana, are based on a prior/initial description/puckerityphuck.
Number 3: Sharap, will ya!

* Watching Prison Break Season 2 and seriously think they should change the name of the show.

*Tengo Calor!

While you were sleeping

Yes I am easily amused.

Yes I am immature.

and..

Yes this made me giggle

I had a wonderful morning.
I had a wonderful afternoon.

Touch it . Bring it . Pay it . Watch it . Turn it . Leave it . Stop . Format it .

*Hot?

Schizostressia

Why am I not posting? Simply cuz I choose not too.
How have you been? Relatively good- whatever that means.
Enjoying life? What a stupid question, I'll let you know when I'm done.
Need help? Yes please but then again who doesn't?

Interests of the week? Anythin with the letter 'i' in the beginning of the word.
Tough times? That's the understatement of the year and what a crappy year it has been.

Recommend anythin? Lots of fluids to all those sick and healthy
Are you on anythin? Again with the drug-use implications! Just pick a finger will ya!
In love? 'In love with myself ! In love with my own reflection'- David Guetta
Need a wake up call? Why how considerate, wake me up when September ends.
Still procrastinating? Till my dying day.

Initial thoughts at the beginning of the post? Shall I trim my nails or can I still type?
Taking any medications? Interesting hmm what would you prescribe?

Sharap and stop complaining- will do!
Happy thoughts happy thoughts where are you? Makooty thats where.
In need of comforting words? Screw that I just need to get over myself
Talkin to yourself now? Define 'talkin'- I'm typing you mofo not talking
Starting to sound pathetic are we? Unfortunately so.

*Garamba3!

Nothing

The odds are against me.

Deadlines.

Personal satisfaction against magnanimity.

Residue.

Dreams are great but reality is fine too.

Addictions.

Rhetorical questions.

Dead end?

Gym Class

With just about everythin I take my time doing things. I hate being rushed, in fact if you rush me I'll mentally charge you an extra five minutes for the extra pressure. My Phys.Ed teacher did not particularly like me. Well actually he did, I always did what I was told and participated in class and actually enjoyed myself but there was one thing that got on his nerves- I was always the last student to come out from the changing room.

Always always always.

He was a very intimidating man, to the extent that some students decided to wear their P.E t-shirts under their uniform in order to save time and not be late. Over my dead body was I going to be doing that! Mind you changing in the crowded girls locker room is not an easy thing to do:

1) Locate Ms.Stinky and proceed to the opposite end of where she is.

2) Unpack what its you tiny gym bag

3) Undress

4) Dress

5) Wear your shoes and tie the laces.

6) Fold your clothes and pack them back in the bag.

I needed 7 minutes to do this, the given time was 5 minutes by the Drill sergeant.

After the first two weeks Drill Sergeant would make me run laps for my tardiness. I actually thought it was fair and because it was a good deal I was willing to put up with it throughout the whole year.

After a few more weeks he gave me 'Afterschool Detention.' As long as it wasn't on a Wednesday I wasn't complaining, because it was the only time I would use a complete hour productively doing homework.

After 2 months, he threatened me with 'In-school suspension' and actually followed through with it. I spent the whole day in the main office in a tiny cubicle staring at the wall for 6 hours. I wasn't allowed to speak a word. I got my first glimpse of prison life then and there.

By the end of the year he gave up on me and granted me my extra two minutes. I felt so proud of myself for following through (not that I had a choice, I honestly just couldn't change any faster!)

When the report card came out, I was left speechless.

He failed me.
He friggin failed me.

I failed 9th grade Physical Education.

Miss athletic tennis playing, travel the gulf for tournaments failed PE.

I had an F on my report card.

Three years later as an I'm-too-sexy-for-this-school Senior had to repeat 9th grade PE with the Freshmen. The senior with a bunch of freshmen. (Please take a moment to reflect on that.)

The Senior with the Freshmen.

Truth be said, it wasn't that bad. I've never been in a class where everyone looked up to me and took notes on everythin I said. It's safe to say that it was a major ego boost and those kids practically stood in line to take orders from me. And because I was a 12th grade student and the teacher was really amused by my story he granted me an extra five minutes to change. He gave the rest of the class 7 minutes.

*Mama Aneesa!

Reese's

* Lucky Number Slevin - fun stuff!

* A boy called IT- not so fun but a good read nonetheless.

* Chay Darseen- good stuff!

* Chocolate syrup on grilled tomatos- not so good!

* Oven burns - painful shi'!

* Lil scars of cookin escapades - cute stuff!

* Friends spontaneous declaration of their love for you - cool kiny stuff.

* Dumbasses sending 'aloo' text message - NOT cool! I repeat NOT cool!

* Excuse me for a sec, I garra go. I don't garra bur I'm gonna. I'm gonna go, go, go!

*************************************

I booked my first one way ticket ever, I don't know why I didn't book a return, I'm gonna come back obviously but when je ne sais pas. A few days? A week? A month? We'll see how it goes

*Ms.B!

.

Fresh

Oprah's episode today(yesterday?) was emotionally draining.

000000000000000

When I focus on somethin for too long I fail to see the obvious. My new 'fresh eyes' technique is to STOP DROP and ROLL, no I'm just kiddin hehe I stop, drink tropicana orange juice*, play a song then get back to the task at hand (usually its Su Doku or lookin for my keys).

*Can only be tropicana cuz their new bottles are horrible, they can only be opened using a butcher's knife and that itself is a strenuous task therefore ensuring you forge-abour task 1.

000000000000000

Around two weeks ago I was homeless for 8 hours. It sucked. A friend was over we were getting ready to go out (supermarket for the malageef), we were at the door when she asked "you have the keeeys?"

While she was saying 'keys' I heard a 6ARABA7! (door slam)

Now lemme get this straight since you weren't sure whether or not I had keys and were actually waiting for an answer WHY SLAM THE DOOR BEFORE YOU GET YOUR ANSWER!

I kept giving her the 'sharap don't talk to me-you're stupid' look for the rest of the day.

Confession: I honestly wasn't pissed at all, but when people assume I am I just play along, fun stuff.

000000000000000

I love my friends to bits but I noticed that most of them fall into two groups. Group A are the ones I call once or twice a month if somethin dramatic happens and next time we see eachother we pick up from exactly where we left off. Group B I love equally but are slightly more high maintenance. They would be the ones sending me daily sms's asking the exact same questions. I've honestly worn out all possible replies for the question :

"Hii! How's it going"

1) Its goin!

2) Not bad!
3) Wullah il7imdilah
4) Mashy il7al

Why can't everyone be like Group A! Better yet ask me a different question, ask me what color underwear I'm wearing atleast then I'll give you a different answer! Yes okay, if we have somethin to talk about yes I don't mind, but don't just message me so you can go back to sleep thinkin to yourself 'zaain sawait ily 3alay, si'alt 3an Jan6a ilyom. Bs ihya allah yihadaha mafeeha ilkhair, matis'al!'

Oh and yeah some members of Group B do not enjoy being ignored, they take it personally- they'd even send an sms sayin "alooo". Please tell me who the fuck does that? Just pisses me off.

Shinoo 'aloooo' !! Sharid 3alaihum 'Ee asmi3ich' ?!

Blukh! Its beyond me really.

000000000000000

Yes I realized this post has turned into a rant but oh well.

000000000000000

On a ligher note my mother sends the cutest sms's. This is true for a number of reasons:

1) They start and end with 'mama'
2) They need to be deciphered cuz the numbers and spelling are all wrong.
3) They don't require a reply.
4) In the event where I do reply I would get a:
"Mama thx 4 rply, Tk care love yo mama"

000000000000000

*Katkooty!

.

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


i n e e d t o g e t m y a c t t o g e t h e r t h i s i s g e t t i n g b e y o n d p a t h e t i c a n d t h e w o r s e p a r t i s i a m a w a r e o f i t e v e r y s i n g l e f r i g g i n g o d d a m n d a y i t s n o t h o m e s i c k n e s s i a c t u a l l y n e v e r w e n t t h r o u g h t h a t i t s n o t b o r e d o m i m a c t u a l l y h a v i n a g o o d t i m e a t a d t o o m u c h b u t f o r g e t a b o u t t h a t i d o n t k n o w i d o n t k n o w s e e t h a t s a n o t h e r l i e i k n o w e x a c t l y w h a t n e e d s t o b e d o n e b u t i m h a v i n g t r o u b l e g e t t i n g t o t h e s t a r t i n g l i n e w h a t s f u n n y a c t u a l l y n o t f u n n y a t a l l i c a n t e v e n s e e t h e f i n i s h l i n e w r i t i n g t h i s l i k e t h i s i s c a t h a r d i c a n d p o i n t l e s s a t t h e s a m e t i m e s a y g o o d n i g h t a n d g o g o w h e r e j e n e s a i s p a s j u s t g o o f f t o p i c i r e a d a l i n e i l i k e d e x c e l l e n c e k n o w s no g e n d e r c e s t v r a i a t l e a s t i t h i n k s o s o s a y g o o d n i g h t a n d g o

*

What time is it?

A crowded restaurant

I'm standing there waiting for a table, place is slightly packed and whenever someone passes infront of me this is what I do - ashfu6 karshity and tiptoe!

WHY?

I don't know, I guess in my head I'm givin the dude more space to walk.

------------------

*Its nice..

Raspberries

Where have all the ladybugs gone? Could it be that I've grown older and stopped looking for them? I remember being a toddler and searching the fields in the wafra or in the garden tryin to find the odd creature. Once I found them I'd let them crawl all over my skin allowing them to freely roam their new ground. Ten minutes later I'd either get bored or ticklish and make sure the lil thing came back to the palm of my hand- that's when I'd make a wish and blow* it away.
*to all the lady bugs I blew away I hope you all landed safely!

-----------------

I make wishes on absolutely everything! Going under a tunnel, crossin a bridge, when the clock is 11:11, passing a yellow light, throwing coins in a wishing well or fountain, seeing a breathtaking view and even when the seatbelt sign is turned off after take off*.
*we're i-don't-know-how-many feet over land- thats garra count for something!

-----------------

I've never been scared of flying. Never. Never. Never. UNTIL I took a short flight with a charter plane. Thing is I don't know if I was scared because of the excessive turbulence or because my parents didn't know about the trip. Granted all my siblings knew and so in my head if anythin goes wrong my brother knew where to find my body but still I was petrified! The 15 meter plane that had a juke box playing hip/hop did not amuse me one bit. I was surrounded by apathetic businessmen enjoyin their morning paper. No one dared to drink anythin fear of gettin it spilled over their freshly pressed suits. Say no to charter planes. No No No!

-----------------

Insider info: This post was inspired by a picture of a ladybug my friend had as her display icon. So yeah my posts have no deep thinking processes to them. Typing them up is pretty much smooth sailing but around 7 minutes is dedicated to making it look purrty (fonts, colors, etc.) So there you have it.

-----------------

P.S: The pic was not my friend's display thingy. I searched for it during the 7-minutes.
Naughty aren't they? :p

Vulnerability

This picture broke my heart. No not because I'm a lovey dovey person and did a whole 'aaaawww how cute'. (actually it is cute but thats not the point!) It triggered MANY unpleasant childhood memories. I think I'm brave enough to share my deep dark secret. A secret I've never admitted to anyone. I am brave now.

(i don't know how to skip)

Everythin else I can do: walk, jog, run, sprint, skip the rope friggin hopscotch but 'skippin' is somethin I can't do. I've practiced and practiced but I'm convinced that its one of these things that you can either do or don't.

I can not.

So yeah I envy those two in the picture-they really have it good.

*Mousetrap!

A7mar!

(Thats a lie-t'was kinda fun)



Thanks to Misguided's cool ass post!

*Clavicles!

Clueless

I find it funny that I never question somethin until I'm asked to explain it. Today I had a very interesting (prolly only to me) about arabic nicknames. It just confused the hell outa my friend but in the end he surprisingly got it.

so today's victim is : Mohammed
(Shaheen is busy)

Clueless: So why did you call him Mhamad isn't his name Mohammed?

Jan6a: Yeah in Arabic its pronounced Mhamad, and Hamood is short for that.

Clueless: What?? But that sounds nothing like the English or Arabic version!!

Jan6a: Hmm it doesn't? 'Mhamad' 'Hamood' ? Well I guess its like the name Alexandra, in Russia 'Sacha' would be her nickname. Know whar am sayin?

Clueless: Aha Aha. So he has 3 names this one, an English one, an Arabic one and the nickname that sounds nothin like them.

Jan6a: He can also be referred to as Bu-Jassim.

Clueless: WHAT! That doesn't even have the same letters!! Who's Boo Jew! Does that even mean anythin?

Jan6a: Bu means father of and so it'd literally mean father of Jassim.

Clueless: But wait wait, this one he's not married is he? I didn't know he had a baby!!! When did all this happen!

Jan6a: No you dumbass he's not married. Actually I'm the dumbass for bringin it up, ehh its kinda confusing you see most arabic male names have a corresponding name.

Clueless: Ay Maria! Like an alter ego??

Jan6a: Hehe No no not an alter ego. Hmm how do I explain this, like Mhamad would be Bu Jassim and a guy called Jassim would be Bu Mhamad. Matchin names kinda thing, make sense?

(Clueless does some deep thinking)

Clueless: So basically when your parents pick out their sons name they're also picking their grandsons name?

Jan6a: Smart! But hhh not necessarily. Some do it that way but it really doesn't have to be.

Clueless: So lets say Mhamad called his son Alfred.

Jan6a: Thats ridiculous buddy, why would he call his son Alfred? If you're gonna create a hypothetical scenario might as well make it slightly realistic. Let him call his son Abdullah.

Clueless: Okay fine Abdullah! So they'd call him Bu Abdullah and forget Bu Jassim ever existed?

Jan6a: Eeehhh I think you'll still find his old friends and a few people refer to him as Bu Jassim. So his hommies from waay back, gerrit?

Clueless: Jesus Christ! So this poor fella would answer to :

1) Bu Abdullah,

2) Bu Jassim,

3) Mhamad,

4) Mohammed

5) Hamood

Jan6a: There we go, exactly! But its really not as complicated or as frustrating as you make it sound!

Clueless: Ah-ha, I think I get it! Lets do another one!! Does it work with Abdullah as well??

Jan6a: Yeaaahh but how about we do Abdullah another day?

Note: This conversation actually took 172 times longer than the time it took you to read it. Each Arabic name mentioned was written down on a piece of paper and repeated a gazillion times by Clueless.

*Charisma!